Wow!  We are at the end of another year – 2022.  I can’t say that it has been one for the record books.  After three years on the bench and recovery from surgery for torn meniscus in my knee, I decided to run a marathon. I trained for over 8 months for the Athens (Greece) Marathon  All those hours out on the trails, logging miles in heat and rain, and on hills (LOTS of hills) made me think about this whole running thing.  Is it really what I wanted to do?  Over the years my running group has slowly diminished to the point that it is mostly only me these days.  While there are days I am perfectly happy being on my own, I do admit there are times when 16, 18, or 20 miles can feel awfully lonely when you are by yourself. It has made me think about my Ikigai – Japanese for “reason for being” – or what I call my “why.”  Why do I do this? Is this what I want to be my reason for jumping out of bed each day?  I started on this running journey first to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in honor of a dear friend.  It morphed into running for myself in my fight to retain my mobility that Transverse Myelitis tried to take from me.  Now I question my drive.  Is this still my why?

There are some other people who might be going through the same emotions.  Several professional tennis players decided to hang up their rackets this year.   Ash Barty, a former #1 female Australian tennis player, was one.  She said she didn’t have the physical drive, the emotional want, and everything it takes to challenge herself at the very top level anymore.  She decided to move on to the next chapter of her life.  Ash has developed a great golf game. Just a few weeks after winning the Australian Open and retiring from tennis in March, Ash won a golf tournament.  Pretty amazing stuff. Time will tell if golf still keeps Ash going.  

Serena Williams and Roger Federer are two other famous tennis players that retired this year.  Serena doesn’t like the word “retirement”.  She prefers “evolution”.  For a long time Serena tried to avoid the elephant in the room.  She wouldn’t talk about retirement. But there comes a time when hours and hours of practice aren’t as important as the other parts of life that get ignored.  Serena wants to spend her time doing other things, like being a mom.

Roger retired after the Laver Cup.  I remember watching him and his doubles partner (and oft times opponent) Rafael Nadal at his last game.  I am not sure who was crying more – Roger or Rafael.  It was a touching moment to watch these adversaries  embracing one last time.  Roger knew he couldn’t compete at the level and in the way he was used to.  He had played sick and injured.  He realized it was time to move on to other things, especially more time with his family.

I have taken some inspiration from Angel Collinson.  Angel is a former professional skier who, while recuperating from an injury, sat down and made a list of the things she wants in life.  Surprisingly, skiing wasn’t on it.  After my last marathon, I knew I wanted to move into a new direction.  I decided Angel had a good idea – make a list of things I want in life.  At first I limited myself to things that I felt were more appropriate because of my age.  But after looking over my list, I decided to remove the age restriction and allow myself to consider everything.  It is a daunting task because one’s natural tendency is to come up with reasons why something isn’t a good idea or how one could fail.

I am still working on my “why”.  It is a personal thing and I don’t feel comfortable sharing where I am thinking of heading.  I can assure you it will involve movement because I cannot sit still for long. As we enter a new year, I would encourage you all to think about your “why.”  Don’t settle for what may not be working for you.  As Dhiman said “maybe what lies ahead is greater than you expect.”